It sucks when somethings officially over and you know its never ever comming back and your just realizing it. There is no possible way it could ever come back.
Well anyway, lately i've been starting to realize that my 'childhood' is done. Life now is a hell of a lot different than life back then (obviously). What i miss, is sorta just the 'little things' in general. The way i could play outside and stuff and view the world as opposed to now. I miss the summers and swimming or running around and the certain noises like that annoying bug that amkes a really long, loud buzzing noise, and airplanes going by, and some bird chirp that i can't really describe. And just like taking walks when it was really hot and sunny out seeing all the framiliar houses and trees, getting popsicles because we were all sweaty, and playing with christina's dog, drawing in the driveway with chalk, taking bike rides down to the corner store, and getting really happy when we could wash the car in our bathing suits and the biggest excitement in life was when u could barely hear the ice cream man from far away. And then certain things like our friendship rocks (haha, that was with christina), and the woodchucks living in the yard, and thinking my house was haunted, when christina's mom was having her little brother, and just stuff like that.
Everyday life basically consisted of barbie's in christina's room, playing back and fourth between the yards, taking walks, and everything was always the same. But now, doing that everyday would obviously be not as fun. And slowly trees are being cut down, swingsets are being taken down >:(, new houses built which takes away the spaces we used to hang out in.
Everything sort of just ended over night. LIturatlly.(which was when i started highschool)

But now all of a sudden most of my friends have licenses, people are doing drugs, having sex in cars, and all of a sudden im a 'teenager'. I do stuff i never thought i would do, and i have a boyfriend, suddenly the world is such a bad place (referring to international problems), people are getting depressed and all that stuff. Don't get me wrong, I like my life a lot right now, and i have great friends, and im having fun, but at the same time i really miss the past.

ok, enough korny-ness =)

hmm... well after almost a year i think im gonna post again.
i wonder if anyone ever reads this anyways. my newest journal is here. i started writing in it like...half a year ago, i don't exactly remember.

ohhh how much i've changed since i've written all of these posts. after reading all of these i seemed reallllly hypperrrr, i guess in person im pretty happy, but not THAT ...happy.

umm i now go to Bishop guerton high school, don't come into contact with my NDA friends as much i was would like to, and am able to keep a steady boyfriend...for now atleast, but i think it will last quite a while.

Ever since the middle-end of freshman year, I thought things were set and settled. i have my friends, this is how its gonna be, im growing close and are gonna stay close to these people. Lately things have been shifting. growing closer to new people, growing further from older ones. I didn't realize how much people would change after freshman year.

My theory was, we're all comming from different schools, so freshman year is going to be some biiig change, and its gonna be so different for us, we're going to adapt, and change to adapt to this new place, once we've changed, made new friends we've changed for good, because well we're gonna stick together. But its not like that.

Everyone is still changing left and right, some for the good, some for the bad, but thats all a matter on opinion. I know that I'm changing. Espeically since i've been going with tim.


i know i told people when i started going out with tim, that i woudln't be like em v. No pda, growing apart from anyone, etc. But i have been growing apart from people. At first, i made sure i talked to all my friends alll the time (and i'd say even more than tim!) and i was still close to everyone. But when i heard things were being said behind my back like 'everything's about tim' (for me) i just got mad, and from then sorta grew apart. Becuase , things were still the same, except i had one more friend to spend time with on the weekends. but there has been NO pda. both of us are totally against that. Plus i still do stuff with cait and everyone and have sleep overs....i truly don't see wat the deal is.
Unfortunately most of the girls im friends with are hypocritical when it comes to 'backstabbing' oh i would NEVER talk behind ur back!!! when infact they do. i don't feel like i fit in as well with them anymore. number of close friends has decreased, but thats not all on my part. We're just changing. That's highschool.

Right now im at the point where im overwhelmed academically, and socially. i was sick for three days, now i need to make up so much work, im not the least bit interested in school, i just don't want to do it. Socially, i just wish my friends could be happy for me sometimes, instead of trying make me the bad guy in a situation. like "well, if you would rather do something with tim, just tell us." (just because i couldn't get a ride somewhere) sometimes i can't deal with ittt! but i dunno...

By now i can admit, I am not the same Emily as in 7th or 8th grade. Nope not the least bit. But I'm pretty sure my personality is the same. My view's, my tastes, and me as a person is different. I dont know how to specifically describe what I'm trying to say, but w/e, im not the best writer.

and i've lost all inspiration so im gonna publish now. =)