hmm... well after almost a year i think im gonna post again.
i wonder if anyone ever reads this anyways. my newest journal is here. i started writing in it like...half a year ago, i don't exactly remember.

ohhh how much i've changed since i've written all of these posts. after reading all of these i seemed reallllly hypperrrr, i guess in person im pretty happy, but not THAT ...happy.

umm i now go to Bishop guerton high school, don't come into contact with my NDA friends as much i was would like to, and am able to keep a steady boyfriend...for now atleast, but i think it will last quite a while.

Ever since the middle-end of freshman year, I thought things were set and settled. i have my friends, this is how its gonna be, im growing close and are gonna stay close to these people. Lately things have been shifting. growing closer to new people, growing further from older ones. I didn't realize how much people would change after freshman year.

My theory was, we're all comming from different schools, so freshman year is going to be some biiig change, and its gonna be so different for us, we're going to adapt, and change to adapt to this new place, once we've changed, made new friends we've changed for good, because well we're gonna stick together. But its not like that.

Everyone is still changing left and right, some for the good, some for the bad, but thats all a matter on opinion. I know that I'm changing. Espeically since i've been going with tim.


i know i told people when i started going out with tim, that i woudln't be like em v. No pda, growing apart from anyone, etc. But i have been growing apart from people. At first, i made sure i talked to all my friends alll the time (and i'd say even more than tim!) and i was still close to everyone. But when i heard things were being said behind my back like 'everything's about tim' (for me) i just got mad, and from then sorta grew apart. Becuase , things were still the same, except i had one more friend to spend time with on the weekends. but there has been NO pda. both of us are totally against that. Plus i still do stuff with cait and everyone and have sleep overs....i truly don't see wat the deal is.
Unfortunately most of the girls im friends with are hypocritical when it comes to 'backstabbing' oh i would NEVER talk behind ur back!!! when infact they do. i don't feel like i fit in as well with them anymore. number of close friends has decreased, but thats not all on my part. We're just changing. That's highschool.

Right now im at the point where im overwhelmed academically, and socially. i was sick for three days, now i need to make up so much work, im not the least bit interested in school, i just don't want to do it. Socially, i just wish my friends could be happy for me sometimes, instead of trying make me the bad guy in a situation. like "well, if you would rather do something with tim, just tell us." (just because i couldn't get a ride somewhere) sometimes i can't deal with ittt! but i dunno...

By now i can admit, I am not the same Emily as in 7th or 8th grade. Nope not the least bit. But I'm pretty sure my personality is the same. My view's, my tastes, and me as a person is different. I dont know how to specifically describe what I'm trying to say, but w/e, im not the best writer.

and i've lost all inspiration so im gonna publish now. =)